The Motivation For Me Is Them Telling Me What I could Not Do...
It's a little after 3 am Friday morning or "Black Friday" as it's known as. For anyone who knows me they probably know that Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays so of coarse I ate good. I'm doing my usual routine a little Facebook (I think I like it more since I saw The Social Network, kind of cool that FB got him billions and we are like 10 days apart) a little Twitter, watching some college basketball...it's always important to watch your event alumni. Gives you sort of that proud feeling like a big brother. Since the band is off tonight I'm trying to figure out if I want to chill out for the night, go out to Ed Joseph's victory party (he just won a national body paint contest), #TheBigThanksgivingParty at Layla Lounge or to see Backyard at DC Star (the owner usually gives me a few free tickets so I can sell them outside cheap and get some quick bucks).
The game ended...Notre Dame won (Eric Atkins, event alumni, gets ALOT of playing time by the way) I started flipping through the channels, and stumbled across "Beef" on the Fuse Network and Damon Dash was talking. It was the "Death of Roc-a-fella Records" episode. The last time I saw it was before I owned my own company so I figured it would e the perfect time to see it again. It was so perfect it ended up ruining my evening so I guess that's the reason I'm even writing this.
I got so upset because I realized that I'm in a similar situation with my business partner where we are grinding to build our company because the shoe companies don't take us seriously. We are investing not only our own money but our LIVES in the thought that we can do with High School Basketball what Jay Z, Damon Dash and Kareem Biggs did with rap. Why did I get upset you ask? Because in the end they broke up and went their separate ways. Whether they want to admit it or not NOTORIETY, MONEY AND SUCCESS CHANGE EVERYTHING.
I sent Rod (that's my business partner by the way) a text saying "We can never end up like Jay Z and Dame Dash cuz we in this shit together for LIFE." He replied "HELL YEAH" I went back to watching the show and put a status on both Twitter and Facebook saying "Crazy how best friends become strangers....or better yet estranged...scary shit" and kept watching TV as I ignored call after call from band members, friends and females who all wanted my time tonight.
Still don't get why i didn't go out? Because I began to have that urge for knowledge. You know it's funny because if you talk to people about me they will say that I'm a young arrogant asshole who never listens. But like I told my teachers in high school, my professors in college and people I deal with in basketball, what is being told is secondary to who it's coming from and how qualified in my eyes they are to say it. Because in this world if you have wisdom and can't apply in into anything more than a lecture, you're just a dreamer. The point is that I often Youtube a lot of successful people and just listen to them speak. How they say things, how they answer questions, deal with hate and just live their lives as successful people. I learn a lot from them and I take a lot and apply it to my life all while keeping the foundation of who I am in tact as much as possible.
At this point I'm not even tripping about going out. I mean the band played last night in a packed house, my man Quinn Cook (here goes the hate) hit me up and told me he was in town and he wanted to party with us (you know TOB is his favorite band), so he met us up there. And before you start hating he's not the first kid who has partied with me. Trent, Ibn, Timmone, Kavon come see our band play all the time and I even got a table at the WPGC Birthday Bash with Jason Clark this summer partying with Nikki Minaj and more. So I mean that ain't nothing new.
And as far as partying with the stars, TOB, my band (well there's 3 managers Walk Jam is the main manager, Rod and I are his assistants). But in the time I've been with them we have played with Gucci Mane, Wacka Flocka, Currency and endless college homecomings. Radio play is a regular thing and we are even doing our own 18 and up shows at DC Star and The Scene.
The one thing I didn't bargain for which was what inevitably destroyed my night is how much bullshit a person has to go through just to get to this point let alone to actually make it for real. For all the young people that know just how close TOB is to super stardom know what it comes with but only those on the inside know how crazy it really is. Things like young girls who see you at shows and you pay them no attention but they hit you on facebook randomly with all types of messages. Or sneak into 18 up clubs with fake ids and lie to you about their age. Or the girl with a boyfriend now you got s18-19 yearold who wants to fight ypu because he thinks you hit his girl. Or the girl who is too easy who either tries to set you up, get you jumped, try you like your sweet so you can spend on them or just try or get their 15 minutes off the strength of you. Or the Eye-Candy worthy girls who are regulars at the shows. They are of age but only like you because you have money or because of your status. I guess to females it's cool to say they slept with a guy in a band or a manger. They look at you while on stage and you can read their lips practically saying "I want you" or my favorite "Can I come back stage with you?" And these girls are by no means unattractive. Some be on stage partying with us. Or make their way back stage. It can get crazy.
And that's just the gogo side. The regular club scene is just as wild but they just front and hide it better. I learned most of that dealing with my new rap artist Champ Yon. He himself has only been rapping for about 2 years but he is dating Sydney Lauren (just google her) so that made his buzz rise at a fast pace. Not to mention how many shows we have done just for him to perform at. And people like his material. But since being in that world I've learned a lot about image. The fact that young people these days have to be fresh from head to toes. Because everyone is always looking at you and there is a perceived image of what you should be wearing or riding in or if you have to wait in line or not or if you have a table. Streets talk, and when you're the hot topic it becomes a job. But don't get me wrong, there are benefits to that as well. You get to indulge yourself in the world of video girls, models, singers, actresses, high priced dancers who work at places like Stadium Club or do private parties for the Redskins or Wizards. They are on their grind and the respect yours. There is very little talking needed because they already know all about you and since they know we shoot music videos for Champ already and they know we are getting money IT"S ON! But on the flip side you see female who becomes desperate for the fame. Because they have put ALL their marbles into their looks and know that they won't last forever. You see breast jobs, surgically enhanced butts and worst of all NO PLAN B. They don't have too many real things to say and you can't take them seriously because the are a condom bust away from being taken care of by some rich business man, rapper or athlete.
Another thing that people forget to mention when pursuing millions is how many friends turn against you. Some of my best friends that I have known since the sand box I have lost touch with. Some because I didn't hire them. Some because they couldn't separate friends from business or didn't know how to play the game. Some because they wanted to be treated like me when they are not me. Some from money, some didn't know how to take instructions and the rest just didn't get it. I fought a few, some ran up on me, been bad mouthed and some more crap over this basketball dream of mine. One of the main reasons why I keep the team I have so close is because they are still standing after the dust settled and there have seen so many before them come and go. Some harder to swallow then others but I had to sever ties and move on. And believe me I am far from an angel. I have schemed on my friends, slept with a few of their girlfriends and things of that nature but damn. I guess karma is a bitch.
As I'm watching these Jay Z interviews he mentions the word "hate" and that definitely struck a nerve. See in this digital era we live in its easy for people to find out about what you do or how you think. 1 out of every 9 people have a facebook page, it's public information and in my line of work I'm exposed to a lot of people. The two scariest things about hate is that it can come from anyone no matter the age or how successful and some people whoe hate or hate on you won't say anything for years just continue to come around you fake as shit. There are a lot of people in basketball who hate on me because of my relationship with Montrose. Or because I'm young, making money and not having to be at noone's office at 9 am to do it. Some guys who went to school with me hate because they had "harder" majors and feel they should be where I am. Some hate because of the women they see me with and worst of all some hate on me just because. It's crazy but that's the world we live in and I had to learn to accept it. There is a dude I was beefing with in high school who still to this day will try to fight me or shoot at me when he sees me. Yeah shoot at me, that happened over the summer. Not to mention random things like an attempted car jacking back in May or being sued by some felonious referee organization who tried to put DC Assaults bill on me. It's an epidemic.
At this point I'm watching another interview and this is on Nas, he was discussing his battle with Jay Z back in 2002. How he couldn't believe the mother of his child turned on him and started sleeping with Allen Iverson and Jay Z. You remember the line..."me and the boy AI got more in common that just ballin and rhymin get it more in Carmen." I got very upset off that because of how my relationship went down hill because of my dreams. No she never slept with a friend or competitor but she did her fair share of disloyal shit. From my days at Hoop Magic and Hoop Group everyone knew me as the young kid in love with his college sweet heart. But then came the notoriety and there went the relationship. It's still remains a sensitive subject but we brought a beautiful baby girl into the world so i'll just say this and leave it alone. A pretty girl, college educated, well spoken who looks like a model but the mannerisms of a librarian does not have what it takes to ride with a person like myself in this type of business. Their lack of ambition, restraint and loyalty will eventually come to the surface. They become more and more insecure and don't care about the long term or your dreams. They care about the fact that you have a baby and she needs food and diapers. And we all know how females can go hard, especially if they feel they are number 2 to anything. Not to mention how weak minded some of them can be and start listening to the wrong people. Basketball has always been my first love and More Than Basketball is like that new chick who you always wanted and you can see yourself with forever. Unfortunately she wasn't.
At this point with all this racing through my head my phone rings. It's Rod, he tells me he's outside my house and he has the fliers for our next event at Bowie State on December 18th. I go outside and see a couple dudes who live around my way they telling me about their plans I small talk a little then go to the car. I hop in the back seat and talk for a while. We talk band stuff, Champ stuff Bowie stuff, future stuff like how we plans to retire The Rock summer league like I did Charlie Weber when I was at Hoop Magic. I get the fliers and by the time I got back in my house I was like I think this should be a blog entry. I figure I got plenty of chances to go out this weekend. Plus iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! And in this lifestyle of mine there is always a move to make and always something to do. See you at Bowie State.
The game ended...Notre Dame won (Eric Atkins, event alumni, gets ALOT of playing time by the way) I started flipping through the channels, and stumbled across "Beef" on the Fuse Network and Damon Dash was talking. It was the "Death of Roc-a-fella Records" episode. The last time I saw it was before I owned my own company so I figured it would e the perfect time to see it again. It was so perfect it ended up ruining my evening so I guess that's the reason I'm even writing this.
I got so upset because I realized that I'm in a similar situation with my business partner where we are grinding to build our company because the shoe companies don't take us seriously. We are investing not only our own money but our LIVES in the thought that we can do with High School Basketball what Jay Z, Damon Dash and Kareem Biggs did with rap. Why did I get upset you ask? Because in the end they broke up and went their separate ways. Whether they want to admit it or not NOTORIETY, MONEY AND SUCCESS CHANGE EVERYTHING.
I sent Rod (that's my business partner by the way) a text saying "We can never end up like Jay Z and Dame Dash cuz we in this shit together for LIFE." He replied "HELL YEAH" I went back to watching the show and put a status on both Twitter and Facebook saying "Crazy how best friends become strangers....or better yet estranged...scary shit" and kept watching TV as I ignored call after call from band members, friends and females who all wanted my time tonight.
Still don't get why i didn't go out? Because I began to have that urge for knowledge. You know it's funny because if you talk to people about me they will say that I'm a young arrogant asshole who never listens. But like I told my teachers in high school, my professors in college and people I deal with in basketball, what is being told is secondary to who it's coming from and how qualified in my eyes they are to say it. Because in this world if you have wisdom and can't apply in into anything more than a lecture, you're just a dreamer. The point is that I often Youtube a lot of successful people and just listen to them speak. How they say things, how they answer questions, deal with hate and just live their lives as successful people. I learn a lot from them and I take a lot and apply it to my life all while keeping the foundation of who I am in tact as much as possible.
At this point I'm not even tripping about going out. I mean the band played last night in a packed house, my man Quinn Cook (here goes the hate) hit me up and told me he was in town and he wanted to party with us (you know TOB is his favorite band), so he met us up there. And before you start hating he's not the first kid who has partied with me. Trent, Ibn, Timmone, Kavon come see our band play all the time and I even got a table at the WPGC Birthday Bash with Jason Clark this summer partying with Nikki Minaj and more. So I mean that ain't nothing new.
And as far as partying with the stars, TOB, my band (well there's 3 managers Walk Jam is the main manager, Rod and I are his assistants). But in the time I've been with them we have played with Gucci Mane, Wacka Flocka, Currency and endless college homecomings. Radio play is a regular thing and we are even doing our own 18 and up shows at DC Star and The Scene.
The one thing I didn't bargain for which was what inevitably destroyed my night is how much bullshit a person has to go through just to get to this point let alone to actually make it for real. For all the young people that know just how close TOB is to super stardom know what it comes with but only those on the inside know how crazy it really is. Things like young girls who see you at shows and you pay them no attention but they hit you on facebook randomly with all types of messages. Or sneak into 18 up clubs with fake ids and lie to you about their age. Or the girl with a boyfriend now you got s18-19 yearold who wants to fight ypu because he thinks you hit his girl. Or the girl who is too easy who either tries to set you up, get you jumped, try you like your sweet so you can spend on them or just try or get their 15 minutes off the strength of you. Or the Eye-Candy worthy girls who are regulars at the shows. They are of age but only like you because you have money or because of your status. I guess to females it's cool to say they slept with a guy in a band or a manger. They look at you while on stage and you can read their lips practically saying "I want you" or my favorite "Can I come back stage with you?" And these girls are by no means unattractive. Some be on stage partying with us. Or make their way back stage. It can get crazy.
And that's just the gogo side. The regular club scene is just as wild but they just front and hide it better. I learned most of that dealing with my new rap artist Champ Yon. He himself has only been rapping for about 2 years but he is dating Sydney Lauren (just google her) so that made his buzz rise at a fast pace. Not to mention how many shows we have done just for him to perform at. And people like his material. But since being in that world I've learned a lot about image. The fact that young people these days have to be fresh from head to toes. Because everyone is always looking at you and there is a perceived image of what you should be wearing or riding in or if you have to wait in line or not or if you have a table. Streets talk, and when you're the hot topic it becomes a job. But don't get me wrong, there are benefits to that as well. You get to indulge yourself in the world of video girls, models, singers, actresses, high priced dancers who work at places like Stadium Club or do private parties for the Redskins or Wizards. They are on their grind and the respect yours. There is very little talking needed because they already know all about you and since they know we shoot music videos for Champ already and they know we are getting money IT"S ON! But on the flip side you see female who becomes desperate for the fame. Because they have put ALL their marbles into their looks and know that they won't last forever. You see breast jobs, surgically enhanced butts and worst of all NO PLAN B. They don't have too many real things to say and you can't take them seriously because the are a condom bust away from being taken care of by some rich business man, rapper or athlete.
Another thing that people forget to mention when pursuing millions is how many friends turn against you. Some of my best friends that I have known since the sand box I have lost touch with. Some because I didn't hire them. Some because they couldn't separate friends from business or didn't know how to play the game. Some because they wanted to be treated like me when they are not me. Some from money, some didn't know how to take instructions and the rest just didn't get it. I fought a few, some ran up on me, been bad mouthed and some more crap over this basketball dream of mine. One of the main reasons why I keep the team I have so close is because they are still standing after the dust settled and there have seen so many before them come and go. Some harder to swallow then others but I had to sever ties and move on. And believe me I am far from an angel. I have schemed on my friends, slept with a few of their girlfriends and things of that nature but damn. I guess karma is a bitch.
As I'm watching these Jay Z interviews he mentions the word "hate" and that definitely struck a nerve. See in this digital era we live in its easy for people to find out about what you do or how you think. 1 out of every 9 people have a facebook page, it's public information and in my line of work I'm exposed to a lot of people. The two scariest things about hate is that it can come from anyone no matter the age or how successful and some people whoe hate or hate on you won't say anything for years just continue to come around you fake as shit. There are a lot of people in basketball who hate on me because of my relationship with Montrose. Or because I'm young, making money and not having to be at noone's office at 9 am to do it. Some guys who went to school with me hate because they had "harder" majors and feel they should be where I am. Some hate because of the women they see me with and worst of all some hate on me just because. It's crazy but that's the world we live in and I had to learn to accept it. There is a dude I was beefing with in high school who still to this day will try to fight me or shoot at me when he sees me. Yeah shoot at me, that happened over the summer. Not to mention random things like an attempted car jacking back in May or being sued by some felonious referee organization who tried to put DC Assaults bill on me. It's an epidemic.
At this point I'm watching another interview and this is on Nas, he was discussing his battle with Jay Z back in 2002. How he couldn't believe the mother of his child turned on him and started sleeping with Allen Iverson and Jay Z. You remember the line..."me and the boy AI got more in common that just ballin and rhymin get it more in Carmen." I got very upset off that because of how my relationship went down hill because of my dreams. No she never slept with a friend or competitor but she did her fair share of disloyal shit. From my days at Hoop Magic and Hoop Group everyone knew me as the young kid in love with his college sweet heart. But then came the notoriety and there went the relationship. It's still remains a sensitive subject but we brought a beautiful baby girl into the world so i'll just say this and leave it alone. A pretty girl, college educated, well spoken who looks like a model but the mannerisms of a librarian does not have what it takes to ride with a person like myself in this type of business. Their lack of ambition, restraint and loyalty will eventually come to the surface. They become more and more insecure and don't care about the long term or your dreams. They care about the fact that you have a baby and she needs food and diapers. And we all know how females can go hard, especially if they feel they are number 2 to anything. Not to mention how weak minded some of them can be and start listening to the wrong people. Basketball has always been my first love and More Than Basketball is like that new chick who you always wanted and you can see yourself with forever. Unfortunately she wasn't.
At this point with all this racing through my head my phone rings. It's Rod, he tells me he's outside my house and he has the fliers for our next event at Bowie State on December 18th. I go outside and see a couple dudes who live around my way they telling me about their plans I small talk a little then go to the car. I hop in the back seat and talk for a while. We talk band stuff, Champ stuff Bowie stuff, future stuff like how we plans to retire The Rock summer league like I did Charlie Weber when I was at Hoop Magic. I get the fliers and by the time I got back in my house I was like I think this should be a blog entry. I figure I got plenty of chances to go out this weekend. Plus iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! And in this lifestyle of mine there is always a move to make and always something to do. See you at Bowie State.
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